Cinders, the minimalist
Was a mere opportunist.
This girl had already got the gist:
Get money. Disappear in mist.
When this story first began
Prince Charming was a fine young man,
But after Cindy R he ran –
And let his life go down the pan.
Queen Mother warned of many woes:
« Miss Cinderella picks her nose!
She wears black laddered panty hose,
And on her legs a forest grows! »
But Charming yearned to have a whirl
With this obnoxious, haughty girl…
Whilst Cinderella dreamed of pearls
To tangle in her fake blonde curls.
He was rich and hot to trot,
So Cinderella hatched a plot
To snare her prince and grab the lot.
She said « yes » quick, and tied the knot.
Bright and early the next morning,
Cinders woke as light was dawning.
Scratching her armpits and yawning,
She hid beneath the palace awning.
« Time for some fun! » young Cindy said
When Charming staggered out of bed.
Bang! bang! bang! She shot him dead…
and on the floor poor Charming bled.
Jumping up and down with glee,
Cindy grabbed the cash to flee.
« Yippee-doo! It’s clear to see
That where there’s muck, there’s brass – for me! »
Cindy said, « I have to say
A life of crime does seem to pay.
Hip-hip hurray! Kaloo! Kalay!
I think I’ll do this every day ».
This post was inspired by this week’s photo challenge, “Minimalist”.
That’s a maximum minimalist!
It takes effort to whittle things down to the bare minimum 😀
Damn but this is good…. how long did it take to think this one out?
Thanks, Bulldog 🙂 A couple of days, helped by a few playmo photography sessions.
Thank you, Katy. Do you think that I should put a “Please do not attempt this in your own home” disclaimer at the bottom of the post?
Excellent! 😀 😀
Your style reminds me of the great Roald Dahl, and his Little Red Riding Hood poem. 🙂
It’s no coincidence – not because I think I’m as good (no one could beat that man’s talent) but because I grew up on a diet of Roald Dahl. That collection of poems is called ‘Revolting Rhymes”, and it is my second favourite book of his (the first being the BFG).
I am feeling quite smug now becaused I noticed the similarity! 🙂 Your poem IS very good though.
Thank you. I feel smug that you feel smug. Raising my mug of tea to our joint smuggitude.
A smug of tea perhaps? 🙂
*MM rolls eyes and grins at Elaine’s superiority in word play*
It sounds almost like a gansta rap lol xx
Sounds cool. Let’s give it another try. “Yoh Miss Welly, who’s eating jelly, and scratchin’ belly, in front of the telly.” Uh. Um. Gangsta rap failure?
He he he, hardly the minimalist with her bag full of loot 😀 Love the image MM!
Thanks, Madhu. Cinders is a great believer that money makes the world go round 🙂
oooo – I knew it was going to end badly when I spied the gun in Cinder’s hand.
… and here I thought she was a gentle, loving young girl. Obviously I’m a poor judge of character!! 🙂
Cinders was a crook. She had to live in hiding forever after, though. With Snow White, on the apple farm she set up to supply wicked witches with fruit to poison.
MM – I do declare you are exposing your dark side!! 😉
Watch this space. 😀
You have an ‘interesting’ imagination, MM. 🙂
I’m a grade A barmpot, and I’m quite happy this way, Miss P. Hope you are well xx
Oh my! A very good take on the theme and some well thought out writing to boot! Enjoyed this! (Probably alot more than Charming did!)
Charming had a bad time of it. That will teach him to ignore his mother’s advice. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
What fun! I love the poem and the story. The photo is très cool too. Nice one, MM. 🙂
Ta muchly 😀
Brilliant. I want more – if that’s not minimalist inconsistent.
Thank you 🙂 You want more? Very Oliver Twist!
Oh, my, MM. Every time I think I’ve found my favourite post of yours, you prove me wrong. This is ‘da bomb’. Love it. And the Playmobil props? Absolutely brilliant. Xxx
Oh, cripes, pressure, pressure, pressure. Black sunglasses for stardom…. Ok. I need my playmos.
Superb! Love the pic – I can see Cindy starring in a Bonnie & Clyde remake!
I’m sure that half of the Fairy Tales gang can be rewritten much more interesting destinies. I mean come on, did Cindy really just aspire to being saved by a prince? Sad, really. I love Shrek for that (get that cinema culture vulture). This is more my style of Princess:
Not sure your version will make Panto this year! Cinders with hairy legs, picking her nose. Love it, love it. xxx
Ohhhh, yes it will! 😀 I love panto (autocorrect just changed that last word to “pants”…).
Hey there! I just nominated you for a Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Feel free to accept or ignore! 🙂
Hey, up, chuck 🙂 Thank you very much, I am most honoured!
This is hilarious! But haven’t you become quite the cynical one? Tat said, in Cinderella’s defence, I’d say that it is tough to be a woman…
That’s a maximum
How did I miss this post? This is too funny.
I really don’t know. Does it have anything to do with those glasses of red wine?