“Sinus,” the Award-winning Snail.

Today, MM comes to you in snail form. Call me Sinus, the blogging snail. I am sliding aimlessly around the house with my eyes poking out on sticks. My head is my shell – a football full of snot teetering dangerously above my field of vision, wobbling heavily and threatening to make me keel over and sink like the Titanic every time I move. A blanket of fudge has set up home between my brain and my skull, and is slowly expanding – or so it feels. My upper teeth are rearing at the bit, in a desperate attempt to bolt from their paddock and charge out to pastures new. Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of chronic sinusitis, which reduces happy bloggers to gibbering wrecks.

English: The white-lipped snail (Cepaea horten...

Sunny Sinus, alias MM, creeping up the stairs.  (Cepaea hortensis). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

However, in this world of mucosal morosity, there is a little light shining. I recently got a lovely note from Scripting Happiness, telling me that she has nominated me for the Sunshine Award. My first reaction was to grin – even snotty snails need recognition as much as the next man. My second was to feel a huge stab of bloggery angst, pull on my bad-girl-WordPress-blogger-hair-shirt and feel as guilty as Smelly Dog did when she ate the blackcurrant tart with Murphy the cat.

You see, I’ve had lots of nominations from other lovely bloggers, and although I said thank you, I never posted about them. Please accept my apologies – I really, truly appreciate being appreciated and I love you bloggers right back (although I’ll keep my germs to myself). But if I answer my backlog of awards now, I’ll have to batten down the hatches and dribble mucus on my keyboard for weeks on end.

So here is what I suggest. Awards generally ask you to write ten things about yourself, so I will put ten things here about myself.

Then I’d like to twist the award rules slightly, as I should then nominate a number of blogs. The problem is that there are so many, I’d feel awful about limiting my list. So I’m going to ask YOU to present YOUR blog in the comments section. Yes, YOU. I want this post to be a “get up, get down groove, move and get to know each other’s blogs post”. Deal?

Ten random facts about MM.

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1. I transform into Sinus the Snail on a regular basis because of bad facial plumbing. But you already know that.

2. I firmly believe that the best things in life are free, and that people look in all the wrong places for happiness. Most often it’s sitting right in front of you for the taking, in the form of a beautiful view, a good belly laugh with your children, or a stomp in the leaves.

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3. I want to be a writer when I grow up. I want to write stuff to make big girls laugh out loud on the train when they’re travelling alone so that they make other people smile too. But I don’t know when I’m supposed to grow up.

4. I am addicted to salted peanuts. I did give up, for six months, then someone put a bowl of them on the table and all those peanuts got together and pleaded for me to eat them. Honest.

5. I once chased gypsies along the main road wearing nothing but my bikini bottoms, and screaming like a banshee. They ran faster than me, and they had the bag containing my clothes and my car keys.

6. I love singing Mahna-Mahna from the Muppets, and I can’t listen to choirs singing without getting goosebumps and bawling my eyes out.

7. I once hid behind a curtain and scoffed petits fours with Miss Tahiti. We had great fun, but I was on look-out duty because she wasn’t allowed any of the stuff on the buffet. That’s what you call girl power.

8. I have worked as a trouser inspector. I inspected, but there were no men inside them.

9. When I was in my early twenties, I gate-crashed Richard Branson’s birthday party in my VW Beetle by mistake. He waved very kindly and ushered us in as PF muttered “Who’s that prat?”. I remind him who that rich prat was every time I top up his Virgin mobile card.

10. I have discovered a whole new fabulous gang of friends since I entered the wonderful world of blogging, and would like you all to know what a difference you all make to my day. Yup, sappy, but true.

Now it’s your turn!