In light of current events, Mrs Playmo insisted on protection for our walk yesterday. She was not convinced by my arguments that there was nothing interesting for terrorists around our village, and rummaged furiously in the accessory box until she found a riot police helmet. The steel capped boots were too big for her, but when Eric the Policeman called from the bottom of the box and shyly offered to accompany her, she blushed and accepted with a shy smile.
A blustery wind was sweeping across the vineyards, and it was very hard for Mrs Playmo to remain standing for long enough to take any photos. She took shelter on the old orange tractor, and took the opportunity to suggest her new idea of weaponry to Eric. She asked him to hold her dog’s lead for her, then disappeared into my photo bag and – after a great deal of grunting and swearing – returned dragging a huge strawberry flavoured lollipop. This, she explained, was an exciting new concept – a lollipop to sweeten up bad guys, and if that failed, it became an edible cosh that could also be set up in a grenade launcher and fired at the more dangerous villains.
Eric the Policeman kindly refused her offer, telling her that bashing the villain’s bonce with a Chupa Chups would fracture his skull. The Playmo justice system would not only put him in prison and let the bad guy go, but they would also fire him and make him pay damages so that the baddy could afford the latest Kalachnikov and start all over again.
Mrs Playmo shrugged her shoulders, and told him that he could avoid the whole problem by eating the weapon. That said, she unwrapped the lollipop and attempted to eat it. Staring into oblivion, she did not see the expression on Eric’s face as he watched her. The more she tried to understand society these days, the less she liked it. Her opinion of Eric, on the other hand, was a different question all together….