Rest In Pisces.

Jamie's last resting place.

Jamie’s last resting place.

“Dearly beloved.” It was worthy of a Sicilian funeral. Little My’s Best Female Friend cleared her throat and grinned at her pal from below the syringa tree at the bottom of the garden. The cicadas scratched relentlessly in the hot stillness of the Provençal afternoon. Sitting on one of the garden chairs that the girls had neatly lined up for the funeral, I repressed the urge to laugh at Gargamel, strategically positioned to spy on us through the hole he had crafted in his garden wall.

“Please bring me the deceased”. Little My rose from her chair and shuffled forwards. The recently bereaved goldfish owner was stylishly clad in a frilly black taffeta skirt, a spaghetti strap top and bright green flip-flops. She proffered the lifeless body of Jamie the goldfish,  nestled in the palm of a bright red washing-up glove: the matriarch dictator, alias yours truly, had insisted that Jamie’s state of decay required protection for her hands.

BFF opened a small wooden box, and Little My ceremoniously laid her fishy friend in the bottom. (Sorry, Granny, the box you kindly gave Little My several years ago was the ideal size for a goldfish coffin, and is now buried at the bottom of the garden. We sincerely hope that you bought it from the Salvation Army shop).

The funeral eulogy was short and sweet. “Jamie will be missed. He was a good goldfish. He loved water, and played in it every day. Rest in peace”. BFF flashed a smile at her pal, then they both dissolved into peals of laughter. As Little My peeled off her rubber gloves, she muttered: “Hey, you missed something out!” She spoke into the box. “Marie and Eva are both sorry you died too. Well, they would have been if they’d known, but they’re on holiday”.

BFF passed the miniature coffin to the bereaved owner, and enthusiastically grabbed the garden spade whilst Little My sanctimoniously closed the lid on Jamie’s 18 months of watery existence. The coffin was gently laid at the bottom of the hole dug by the girls earlier that afternoon. BFF shovelled earth over him, then the two friends stamped the earth down and laid pebbles in the form of a cross on the freshly turned earth.

Silence ensued. BFF’s anxious face betrayed the fact that she had noticed Little My’s distress: despite the fun they had derived from this unusual activity, her friend was now feeling sad. She stretched out her hand and gently squeezed Little My’s. The two little girls held hands and looked solemnly down at the grave.

“I’ll miss him,” Little My said with a wobbling voice. BFF didn’t say a word, and put her arm around her pal. I fought the lump that rose in my throat. BFF turned Little My to face her, and stroked her cheek compassionately. As tears welled up in my eyes, BFF said, “Hey, don’t worry. If you miss him, we can always dig him up from time to time”. Now that’s what friends are for.

24 thoughts on “Rest In Pisces.

    • I would be very interested to know if he has told stories about us (highly unlikely, as he doesn’t desert his post in case he misses anything exciting – this means he can’t actually talk to anyone else anyway). I hope he’ll come round to ask us what we’re doing one day rather than trying to see from a distance.

  1. wonderful story

    BFF is a friend indeed – loved her suggestion about digging him up now and again 😆

    P.S. when No 2 son was about 7 or 8 yr old we took him to a fair in our local park where he won a goldfish. It lasted for a few months then expired on Xmas Eve. We had a bit of a ceremony as I flushed it down the loo – I could see the wife struggling to hold back the tears (of laughter)

    Later, as I answered nature’s call, I found a piece of tinsel circling the toilet bowl

    No 2 son had made the loo into a shrine for his dear departed friend and forbade anyone to piss or shit on it !

    It wasn’t too big a deal for me to have to pee in the backgarden but, for some reason. the wife wasn’t too happy about having to do so

    The things we do to keep our kids happy, eh ? 😆

  2. I wonder what alien invaders will think as they dig into the garden in future and dig up a box full of fish-bones. How will they interpret this? Those earthlings used to worship a Fish-God?

  3. I started off chuckling and ended up with a lump in my throat and slightly watery eyes! Lovely send off for Jamie (hope he gets to RIP and not get dug up!) Little My has a wonderful BFF, the image of them holding hands is so sweet 🙂

    • It was one of those experiences you don’t forget in a hurry…. BFF is a real diamond, I hope their friendship will last (unlike Jamie, who is resting in peace at the end of the garden – at least for the moment).

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